Alvin and the Chipmunks and the Naked Zac Levi

6:30 AM call time in Long Beach. Joy. I just LOVE waking up at 5. (eyes roll). Then when I arrive to set, they are out of eggs. This day was not going well so far (though later I heard that the eggs were almost inedible). Luckily I had friends on set. Becky was her usual self and then she befriended a guy named Brian who liked magic, but refused to tell me his secrets...especially to a certain poker chip trick which has been nagging me. Then there was Paul who went to USC and is a friend of Ashley's I met at a Superbowl party. It's amazing how well you can get to know someone in 16 hours. I feel like we've been friends forever and we created a geek scale to measure geekiness.....somehow I won even though HE watches Battlestar Galactica and loves Sci-fi. I'm not sure how that happened but I do blame most of it on the Chemistry Holiday called Mole Day (Which is on October 23rd for you non-geeks out there because a mole is 6.02 x 10 ^23).

The day turned instantly amazing when I realized that Zac Levi was the star of the movie. Since I totally have a crush on him and all. I even got to see him in his underwear for a dream sequence. I was smiling ear to ear. That boy has some thighs if I do say so myself. He was in tighty whities. Yay! (though I prefer boxers). Oh how I wish he weren't a man whore. It was fun seeing him act all awkward and he would try to be funny in between takes.

Then we had a choreographer teach us some dance moves and about 300 of us had to dance to the Chipmunks singing "Shake Your Groove Thing". My arms got tired of waving back and forth but seriously...how priceless is it to have 300 people dancing to the Chipmunks. The main song we had to hear over and over was this song called "Family" and we had to shout in synchonization F-A-M-i.l.y. I wrote it that way because we would scream F then A then M and then the i, l, and y were run together very quickly and many of us didn't get the letters correctly because of this. In fact, Becky kept saying l-e-y. It's also very difficult to chant the word chipmunk over and over again. I started realizing after awhile that I was saying shitmunk. It's much easier to say. Crazy times. Family was their song entry into the all high school talent show. Apparently Charice Pempengco, the famous girl from the Philippines who has been featured on Oprah many times, is from a local high school......also from a local high school...the break dance crew Quest which has Hawk and Dominick from "So You Think You Can Dance" in it. That was pretty amazing. They were doing flips and tricks left and right. It was phenomenal. When I wasn't jumping up and down shouting F-A-M-I-L-Y, I was sitting in the bleachers at the top where they had these crazy dummies. They all had man faces except some had makeup to make them look like women. It was amazing. Here is a pic of me and the best dummy there.

My Name is Khan and the Crazy Indian Fans

Today, I got to work on my first Indian film starring Shahrukh Khan...who according to the crazy Indians raiding the set is "bigger than Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Tom Cruise combined!" The day started off poorly because I was one of 400 extras with no craft service and no meals. Cheapskates! Then we filed into single file lines about 70 people deep. To my left were 3 black guys who decided that it would be genius to sell some drugs while there. (They were not with Central Casting and I have no idea how they got on set.) Then they decided it would be better if they smoked it themselves. I watched this guy in a baseball jersey with CLOWNS written on it roll a joint. A select few around me were looking appalled. I wanted to tell them to stop being such a stereotype. I was too afraid of being stabbed, however. Here is a picture of them, joint in hand, about to go over to the library to light up.


Needless to say, black people were not invited back to set the next day. Which is understandable because there was a George Bush look-a-like on set, which means we were at a George Bush rally. Do you know any black people who like George Bush? What's also really funny is that this was a Republican rally type thing that Khan attends and says, "Mr. President, I'm not a terrorist"...but everyone mistakes him for being a terrorist of course. Now, I don't know too many republicans, but I'm pretty sure they are not holding up signs that say "Peace" and "No blood for oil" and "No War". Somehow...this republican rally was full of Liberals...and black people...and Indians. The Props people who made the signs probably knew nothing about American politics.

After lunch, the Indian population of the background scene doubled. They just walked onto set to take part in the scene. Only a few small children were told to leave because of labor laws. Most knew about the movie because they were UCLA students or they read it on the director's blog. The new brown faces surrounded Khan in the front of the crowd, hoping to get close to their hero...the white faces were in the back...they could care less. Finally a PA started going up to some of them and told them they needed to get in the back. "We need white American faces up front". The poor girls looked so hurt and went towards the middle (there was no way they were going to the back), before they returned to their original spots up front. One girl actually got the courage to talk to Khan as he walked by, "By the way, I'm such a fan". He touched her hand. She just about died. At the end of both days, when we were wrapped, there was a line of about 75 Indians waiting for pictures and autographs, hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite star.

I was so thankful that I knew someone on set today, Tammy, who I had a class at USC with. So reassuring to see other USC students in the same boat that I'm in. Also, it makes the mundane pain of the day more tolerable. While we were talking this ghetto white guy who HAD to be on SOMETHING came up to compliment me on my record purse and watch. This was right after the person in front of him used my purse as a mirror before I told her how awkward that was. He asked me if I like his plastic white rimmed sun glasses which he probably got for three bucks at a gas station. I didn't reply. "Don't you think they are Ka-Blam?". Poor Tammy fell into the trap and replied "yeah". He then proceeded to call himself a retard...I couldn't have agreed more. It's always nice to know that people are not in denial of their brain capabilities. We had to try and ignore him the rest of the day. Also on set on Sunday, there was a blind man. Very interesting career choice. On Monday, Jermaine Jackson, older brother of Michael, came to set because apparently he is a big fan of Sharukh Khan.

Crowd scenes as big as this can always get a little crazy. We are all shouting and hollering, and for some reason, the 1st AD decided it would be a good idea to use a megaphone. As if we couldn't understand his thick Indian accent enough, we now had to try and understand it as it was being shouted through a megaphone while we were all screaming and cheering hoorays! Not the smartest guy in the India, if he were, he'd be a doctor like his parents wanted him to be. The one plus of crowd scenes is that the lead actor will often times brush or push against you trying to get through..which he did. Yes, that is right, the biggest star in the world touched me. Please try to contain your jealousy. One obnoxious black girl behind me did not understand the hooplah surrounding him. "He's so old" and "I know he is like your idol and everything, but will you please get out of my space". All the Indians around her were probably planning on killing her behind the bleachers later on in the day....too bad Hindu is a peaceful religion.

Bedtime Stories and My Birthday

It was my birthday, and instead of taking the day off or celebrating by myself in my apartment, I decided to work. At least that way I'd have a chance at some cake and socialization. It actually ended up being quite the fun birthday. I was on the "B" unit which basically meant I got to watch a motorcycle fly through the air and crash into concrete all day. Also, I did get my birthday cake. The lunch line was so long that I skipped it all together and went straight for the desserts. As I took my seat, a very attractive PA noticed my dessert platter and said he liked my style. I explained to him that it was my birthday, and he gave me a nice birthday hug. Yay for hugs from hot guys! Later in the day they brought in some Haagen Dazs ice cream. It was just like our own private ice cream shop with toppings and the works. It's almost as if they knew.

Race to Witch Mountain

This past week, I got to wake up at 4 am and drive 40 minutes to and from Pomona Fairgrounds in order to play a coveted Larper. A Larper is (for you non-geeks out there) a Live Action Roleplaying (LARP) Person (ER?). I'm not going to act like I understand their world, but you know...this was pretty fun. AND I had the BEST costume out of everyone there. AnnaSophia Robb (the young lead actress in it) told me that herself. She even filmed me for some behind the scenes coverage. Oh costume, how great you were. It was a one piece spandex suit that covered fingers and toes and went up to my neck. Over that, I wore what can only be described as a high tech trashbag. Add the 4 inch heels that matched my sparkly spandex skin and a big black wig and a sparkly star-decored headdress thing that weighted down my shoulders and you have a Larper costume like none other. Please see illegal pics below to appreciate full effect. Next came the makeup, and can I say, my makeup guy loved me. Apparently he can't handle it when people look at him when he puts lipstick on, and he would crack up laughing. On the last day, our relationship became so great that he tried to steal my nose like a 5 year old. He was the best, and all the hair people were jealous of our relationship and competed, I feel, to see who would be graced with the honor of putting on or taking off my wig. I had a different person each time which was crazy since there were 6 of them and I only had to wear the costume 3 days, but my makeup guy, I was all his. I really hope I see him again.

I couldn't fit through doorways. I had to duck down because with the head dress and heels I was about 7 feet tall. Needless to say, I'm in the deep background for a lot of the sci-fi convention scenes. Oh but so easily spottable. In fact, I'm pretty sure I talked to every single one of the 400 or so extras. They all had to come up to me and touch my costume. "You look like a hershey kiss", "You look like a mushroom", "You look like a bag of trash", I got them all. For some reason they were all fascinated by me. It did wonders for my confidence. And then there was Charlie. Charlie is a retired 69 year old who used to be in the Navy before making his millions in the pant industry. He was my protector and was desperate to see me out of my costume. He kept telling me I was a 10 and if only he were 40 years younger... He was a hoot and was always up to trouble. He went up to one black girl who thought she was all that and told her she was a 7. "That", he said as he pointed to me, "that is a 10". Of course he had no idea what I really looked like. The only real me that showed were my eyes. I think the mystery behind what I looked like was the real appeal, and some guys were getting a little too obsessive about all of us female larpers that a few were sent home for sexual harassment. I should have reported a few men, but I never felt really threatened as long as Charlie was there to scare them off.

My only real threat came on the 2nd day of filming towards the end of the day. My back was killing me as usual from carrying that heavy headdress on my shoulders. As I was rolling my shoulders during a break a guy offered to massage my shoulders. Apparently he took some classes, but I'm not sure I believe him. Don't get me wrong, it felt amazing and was greatly appreciated, but he had to go and ruin it when he said "You, me, a bottle of baby lotion, and a king size bed". I received no more back rubs after that...not that he didn't try. It became my goal for the rest of the week to avoid him and all of his hoots and hollers from across the room. He had a tattoo on his bicep. I have a theory about guys with tattoos...they're always up to no good.

My costume, though amazing, did prove to be quite the hassle. There was the back pain and sore bleeding feet (which I nursed back to health thanks to my new uggs I received a month before my birthday) and the fact that I couldn't go to the bathroom without taking off my trashbag and unzipping myself out of my costume. Now, the average person goes to the bathroom like 3 times a day, but a female during a certain week of a month goes to the bathroom a little more. It was always quite the event and took me about 10 minutes to get in and out and do my thing. It was pretty much the biggest pain in the ass imaginable.

I made a few friends on set which and we'd hang out and eat lunch together during breaks and what not. There was Ashley who was from Florida and was a pink Larper and Amy who was only there 2 days because she went to Disneyland to audition to be Snow White. She didn't get the part unfortunately but did make it past 3 cuts which is impressive. Arthur and Jonah balanced us out and we became quite the cool little bunch and made promises to hang out later which of course never materialized. On Friday, only Ashley and I returned from our group. They cut the call by a few hundred people, and neither of us had to wear our costumes which was bittersweet. Ashley got to return on a SAG voucher...I did not. Lady Luck has never been with me. At the end of the night I went up to the 2nd 2nd Assistant and asked him why Ashley got to return on a SAG voucher and I did not. Apparently there were only like 3 given out and they gave them to non-union people with crazy costumes like myself. He leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his neck and smiled, "Mary-Ellen. She decides, and I had nothing to do with it". He wasn't trying to be mean and I found him empathetic because Mary-Ellen is crazy and he had to deal with her more than I did. She is the casting person from central who casts and handles background for most motion pictures. I smiled at him and nodded and walked away to head home, holding in my tears till I reached the cool refreshing night air.

American Carol

Oh American Carol, you were so long, cold and hot. Your calls were before the sun came up, therefore I was freezing, and you lasted till the sun came down, and again I was freezing....but in between, how the sun burnt my pale white skin. I was a hippie for 2 days protesting the Fourth of July. Little did I know that I was apart of Republican propoganda. David Zucker!! What the hell is wrong with you?! I later saw David Zucker at the airport when I was coming home from Vegas two weeks later. Very trippy. It was really cool seeing the Naked Gun director himself in action. He reminded me a lot of my dear friend Jonathan's style of directing (which is totally amazing since Jonathan loves him). There was one rough patch though where he had to fire Rich Little who was supposed to be impersonating Ted Kennedy and got this other guy...which I'm sure he regretted because this guy was awful and Zucker was giving him line readings for 2 hours and the guy still didn't get it. The crew was about to mutiny.

I also met Patti Moore on set. We became fast friends over our love of Hugh Laurie and because she grew up near Yardley, PA where my parents currently live. Such a small world. She also lost a brother in a car accident so we bonded over that as well. I've seen her a lot since on random sets, but as of last August 08, she moved back to PA.

Made Of Honor

No one ever forgets their first time, whether it be their first ride on a bike, their first kiss, their first trip to Taco Bell, their first roll in the hay, and well, their first day as an extra for a major Hollywood movie. I was so excited. Straight out of graduating from USC in Film and ready to leave my mark on my first real professional set. It was for a Halloween party set in the mid-1990s. I was to wear this milk maid costume that I borrowed from a roommate Marian the previous year. The excitement of the day must have blocked my memory, since I had forgotten just how small this milk maid outfit was. Just imagine for a second....my roommate was about 5'3" and I am 5'8", NOT including the 3" heels I was forced to wear all night. They gave me fishnets to help cover my exposed ass, but really I was quite doomed for the night and am shocked they okayed me to wear it. Also at this point I should say that it was about 50 degrees outside and that milk maid costume was irrationally skimpy. Needless to say I was freezing and close to tears, since I knew no one and the shoot was going to go on into the wee hours of the morning.

I made friends with a bumble bee....her name is not important, clearly since I have forgotten it. She had just broken up with her boyfriend. She made my life seem not as pathetic. Joy. There was also a guy dressed as a clown, and for those who know me, you may also know of my deep and RATIONAL fear of clowns. I avoided him like the plague. Clowns really are an occupational hazzard for the background extra. Note to self.....do not do anymore Halloween Calls. Then there was my dance partner, let's call him Mike. Mike was getting into real estate. Mike offered me a nice seat on a block of hay next to us. I declined since having sticks shoved up your bare fish netted ass is more unpleasant than standing on sore feet. Mike offered to make out with me on camera. Mike was no longer my dancing partner after that.

Patrick Dempsey finally came on to set at about midnight. Patrick Dempsey is a very small man. He's tall, sure, whatever, like 5'10" but still he is petite. It makes sense I suppose when you think about it. He plays opposite Ellen Pompeo on Grey's Anatomy and she is like anorexically thin and yet....they match well. So, there you go. After dancing to Thriller till 2 o'clock in the morning, feet blistered, and suffering from hypothermia, I was finally released from my hell. And the grand total is...........$60. Nice evening's work. I figured that was my first and last day as an extra. Boy...was I wrong.