Monday, January 26, 2009

American Teenager and the Poisonous Bathrooms

I worked the Secret Life of the American Teenager last Friday and today. It is an AFTRA show, which means I get paid 105 bucks for 8 hours, but it also means that AFTRA gets to keep my check and I don't get to see any of that money until my dues are paid. Shit. I was to be a nurse, which is a great gig because I get to lounge around in comfy scrubs all day. I worked for 10 minutes on Friday and was there for 11 hours. I didn't work at all today and was there for 4 hours. Oh the sweet life. Though it can get mighty boring when not working. To distract my boredom, I had the bathroom to fret about. For some reason, the folks at the Warner Bros Ranch decided to pump poisonous perfume into the restrooms. I never understand why Vegas hotels and now studio bathrooms do such a thing. It never gets rid of the smell, it only masks it with something more pungent. Anyway, I am slightly allergic to perfume, so urinating had to be out the question. A bladder infection seemed to be more welcoming than going to the bathroom in the intoxicating loo. Seemed to be....but alas, I really had to go. I pulled up my sweatshirt to form quite the gas mask over my nose and mouth and proceeded to relieve myself. I held my breath as long as possible, but I am not a whale, and had to take a deep breath through my protective sweatshirt. The results were not quite as effective as I would have liked. Minutes later I was still having breathing problems and felt drugged and loopy for about an hour afterwards. Was it worth not wetting myself? I suppose....but still....who has stools so bad that they have to deodorize the bathrooms that much?! I did, however, have the yummiest macaroni and cheese I have ever had in my life, and for the first time ever, I got a To-Go box and brought some home with me....sure...I was out of lactates...but it was so worth it.

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