My Name is Khan and the Crazy Indian Fans

Today, I got to work on my first Indian film starring Shahrukh Khan...who according to the crazy Indians raiding the set is "bigger than Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Tom Cruise combined!" The day started off poorly because I was one of 400 extras with no craft service and no meals. Cheapskates! Then we filed into single file lines about 70 people deep. To my left were 3 black guys who decided that it would be genius to sell some drugs while there. (They were not with Central Casting and I have no idea how they got on set.) Then they decided it would be better if they smoked it themselves. I watched this guy in a baseball jersey with CLOWNS written on it roll a joint. A select few around me were looking appalled. I wanted to tell them to stop being such a stereotype. I was too afraid of being stabbed, however. Here is a picture of them, joint in hand, about to go over to the library to light up.


Needless to say, black people were not invited back to set the next day. Which is understandable because there was a George Bush look-a-like on set, which means we were at a George Bush rally. Do you know any black people who like George Bush? What's also really funny is that this was a Republican rally type thing that Khan attends and says, "Mr. President, I'm not a terrorist"...but everyone mistakes him for being a terrorist of course. Now, I don't know too many republicans, but I'm pretty sure they are not holding up signs that say "Peace" and "No blood for oil" and "No War". Somehow...this republican rally was full of Liberals...and black people...and Indians. The Props people who made the signs probably knew nothing about American politics.

After lunch, the Indian population of the background scene doubled. They just walked onto set to take part in the scene. Only a few small children were told to leave because of labor laws. Most knew about the movie because they were UCLA students or they read it on the director's blog. The new brown faces surrounded Khan in the front of the crowd, hoping to get close to their hero...the white faces were in the back...they could care less. Finally a PA started going up to some of them and told them they needed to get in the back. "We need white American faces up front". The poor girls looked so hurt and went towards the middle (there was no way they were going to the back), before they returned to their original spots up front. One girl actually got the courage to talk to Khan as he walked by, "By the way, I'm such a fan". He touched her hand. She just about died. At the end of both days, when we were wrapped, there was a line of about 75 Indians waiting for pictures and autographs, hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite star.

I was so thankful that I knew someone on set today, Tammy, who I had a class at USC with. So reassuring to see other USC students in the same boat that I'm in. Also, it makes the mundane pain of the day more tolerable. While we were talking this ghetto white guy who HAD to be on SOMETHING came up to compliment me on my record purse and watch. This was right after the person in front of him used my purse as a mirror before I told her how awkward that was. He asked me if I like his plastic white rimmed sun glasses which he probably got for three bucks at a gas station. I didn't reply. "Don't you think they are Ka-Blam?". Poor Tammy fell into the trap and replied "yeah". He then proceeded to call himself a retard...I couldn't have agreed more. It's always nice to know that people are not in denial of their brain capabilities. We had to try and ignore him the rest of the day. Also on set on Sunday, there was a blind man. Very interesting career choice. On Monday, Jermaine Jackson, older brother of Michael, came to set because apparently he is a big fan of Sharukh Khan.

Crowd scenes as big as this can always get a little crazy. We are all shouting and hollering, and for some reason, the 1st AD decided it would be a good idea to use a megaphone. As if we couldn't understand his thick Indian accent enough, we now had to try and understand it as it was being shouted through a megaphone while we were all screaming and cheering hoorays! Not the smartest guy in the India, if he were, he'd be a doctor like his parents wanted him to be. The one plus of crowd scenes is that the lead actor will often times brush or push against you trying to get through..which he did. Yes, that is right, the biggest star in the world touched me. Please try to contain your jealousy. One obnoxious black girl behind me did not understand the hooplah surrounding him. "He's so old" and "I know he is like your idol and everything, but will you please get out of my space". All the Indians around her were probably planning on killing her behind the bleachers later on in the day....too bad Hindu is a peaceful religion.