Race to Witch Mountain

This past week, I got to wake up at 4 am and drive 40 minutes to and from Pomona Fairgrounds in order to play a coveted Larper. A Larper is (for you non-geeks out there) a Live Action Roleplaying (LARP) Person (ER?). I'm not going to act like I understand their world, but you know...this was pretty fun. AND I had the BEST costume out of everyone there. AnnaSophia Robb (the young lead actress in it) told me that herself. She even filmed me for some behind the scenes coverage. Oh costume, how great you were. It was a one piece spandex suit that covered fingers and toes and went up to my neck. Over that, I wore what can only be described as a high tech trashbag. Add the 4 inch heels that matched my sparkly spandex skin and a big black wig and a sparkly star-decored headdress thing that weighted down my shoulders and you have a Larper costume like none other. Please see illegal pics below to appreciate full effect. Next came the makeup, and can I say, my makeup guy loved me. Apparently he can't handle it when people look at him when he puts lipstick on, and he would crack up laughing. On the last day, our relationship became so great that he tried to steal my nose like a 5 year old. He was the best, and all the hair people were jealous of our relationship and competed, I feel, to see who would be graced with the honor of putting on or taking off my wig. I had a different person each time which was crazy since there were 6 of them and I only had to wear the costume 3 days, but my makeup guy, I was all his. I really hope I see him again.

I couldn't fit through doorways. I had to duck down because with the head dress and heels I was about 7 feet tall. Needless to say, I'm in the deep background for a lot of the sci-fi convention scenes. Oh but so easily spottable. In fact, I'm pretty sure I talked to every single one of the 400 or so extras. They all had to come up to me and touch my costume. "You look like a hershey kiss", "You look like a mushroom", "You look like a bag of trash", I got them all. For some reason they were all fascinated by me. It did wonders for my confidence. And then there was Charlie. Charlie is a retired 69 year old who used to be in the Navy before making his millions in the pant industry. He was my protector and was desperate to see me out of my costume. He kept telling me I was a 10 and if only he were 40 years younger... He was a hoot and was always up to trouble. He went up to one black girl who thought she was all that and told her she was a 7. "That", he said as he pointed to me, "that is a 10". Of course he had no idea what I really looked like. The only real me that showed were my eyes. I think the mystery behind what I looked like was the real appeal, and some guys were getting a little too obsessive about all of us female larpers that a few were sent home for sexual harassment. I should have reported a few men, but I never felt really threatened as long as Charlie was there to scare them off.

My only real threat came on the 2nd day of filming towards the end of the day. My back was killing me as usual from carrying that heavy headdress on my shoulders. As I was rolling my shoulders during a break a guy offered to massage my shoulders. Apparently he took some classes, but I'm not sure I believe him. Don't get me wrong, it felt amazing and was greatly appreciated, but he had to go and ruin it when he said "You, me, a bottle of baby lotion, and a king size bed". I received no more back rubs after that...not that he didn't try. It became my goal for the rest of the week to avoid him and all of his hoots and hollers from across the room. He had a tattoo on his bicep. I have a theory about guys with tattoos...they're always up to no good.

My costume, though amazing, did prove to be quite the hassle. There was the back pain and sore bleeding feet (which I nursed back to health thanks to my new uggs I received a month before my birthday) and the fact that I couldn't go to the bathroom without taking off my trashbag and unzipping myself out of my costume. Now, the average person goes to the bathroom like 3 times a day, but a female during a certain week of a month goes to the bathroom a little more. It was always quite the event and took me about 10 minutes to get in and out and do my thing. It was pretty much the biggest pain in the ass imaginable.

I made a few friends on set which and we'd hang out and eat lunch together during breaks and what not. There was Ashley who was from Florida and was a pink Larper and Amy who was only there 2 days because she went to Disneyland to audition to be Snow White. She didn't get the part unfortunately but did make it past 3 cuts which is impressive. Arthur and Jonah balanced us out and we became quite the cool little bunch and made promises to hang out later which of course never materialized. On Friday, only Ashley and I returned from our group. They cut the call by a few hundred people, and neither of us had to wear our costumes which was bittersweet. Ashley got to return on a SAG voucher...I did not. Lady Luck has never been with me. At the end of the night I went up to the 2nd 2nd Assistant and asked him why Ashley got to return on a SAG voucher and I did not. Apparently there were only like 3 given out and they gave them to non-union people with crazy costumes like myself. He leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his neck and smiled, "Mary-Ellen. She decides, and I had nothing to do with it". He wasn't trying to be mean and I found him empathetic because Mary-Ellen is crazy and he had to deal with her more than I did. She is the casting person from central who casts and handles background for most motion pictures. I smiled at him and nodded and walked away to head home, holding in my tears till I reached the cool refreshing night air.